2009 has definitely been a living nightmare for me on so many different aspects. I’m just ready to find happiness again and stay happy, which is my ultimate new year’s resolution for 2010. And I’m finally ready to put everything in the past, or so I hope. I need a fresh new start more than anything…
“All at once…
I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Now that you’re gone.
From above
Seems I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Since you’re gone”
<3
I think I’ve finally hit chronic stress…
It just seems like this workload is never ending. And I really don’t know how to deal with this stress anymore…
Not even “letting it out” and crying works anymore…
What’s happening to me?
I remember being asked this by one of my friend..
“At the end of the day, who’s more important? You or him?”
After thinking for a few seconds, I said “Me”.
If I can answer then, why can’t I answer now? Why do I keep giving him excuses for the way he treats me as if he’s justified doing all this to me?
At the end of the day, I’m the one that’s more important. I’ve decided I shouldn’t waste any more time playing along in this game with him and trying to outsmart him. It’s pointless and will not get me anywhere. And therefore, I’m taking myself out of the game…
I’m starting to hate this “all grown up” shit. It’s only the fourth week and I’m still adjusting to this “living on my own” ordeal. Now that I’m cooking for myself and what not and doing chores all by myself, it makes me appreciate my family SO much more. Makes me realize how much my parents and my brother (occasionally, lol) do for me. I guess I really take them for granted sometimes. My parents cook for me when I’m home and I don’t even do chores. They take care of EVERYTHING. And I mean, EVERYTHING. And boy do I realize how much time that takes up. They come home from work, cook, do the chores while my lazy ass is just waiting for dinner and doing my own thing. After all, maybe it is a good thing that I’m living on my own now—cooking for myself, doing chores, taking care of errands, and etc. I just have to accept that I’m “all grown up” now—no longer a teen!
I’m so ready to get next week over with. Next week is my hell week—anatomy lab practical on Tuesday, microbiology exam on Wednesday, physics AND anatomy exams on Friday. If I can get through next week, I can get through anything. That’s what I keep telling myself. Or so I hope. The hell weeks are between next week and my finals week, when I have my anatomy AND physics finals on the same day. We’ll see. I NEED TO DO WELL. I need to make that math/sci gpa. No excuses…it’s definitely CRUNCH TIME! Last year of undergraddddddddddd!!!!!!!
I really need to get out of summer mode and get my act together.
Gotta start busting my ass of in school this year. And I mean, work HELLA hard. I HAVE to make my grades this year and get into pharm school next year. AND work on my pharm school application. I’ve sacrificed way too much that there’s no way I will even consider not passing my necessary classes and stay an extra day in undergrad. Six years in Stockton is more than enough. I am so ready to get the hell out of there and that will be my motivation to work hard. Summer has ended 3 weeks ago and I need to snap out of it and face reality.
It’s crunch time now. For real.
I’m ready to move the fuck on… For real this time. I’ve had it. I’m tired of getting treated like shit and the emotional abuse you put me through. I deserve so much better. Hopefully one day you’ll realize your loss… And only time will tell if you learn from this and will grow from this..
We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.Fredrick Koeing (via brokenmachine) (via eatyourflowers) (via quote-book)
Via: Quote Book:
